Woman Loses Breast Implant In Vacuum Cleaner Mishap

News 8 – On Friday, a woman was recovering from a breast augmentation when a tragedy occurred. Around 1:15 PM police and medical personnel were dispatched to the home of a hysterical husband. Lieut. Bryant said, “We thought there was some sort of domestic dispute. The 911 operator thought the man might be on narcotics because he kept screaming ‘my wife’s titties got caught in the vacuum.'”

Ms. Thompson, who lost her right implant said, “My idiot husband wanted to do some house cleaning for me. I finally said okay and he gets the vacuum out. He had the dust wand attachment and was vacuuming the sideboard of the bed. Then the a**hole bends over to click the front switch and the wand went towards my bosoms. Next thing I know my nightgown disappears, then the bandage on my right breast was gone – suddenly a high pitched squeal sound and vooomp! My right breast just collapsed! It all happened so quickly! Neither one of us could believe it!”

The woman considered suing the vacuum cleaner manufacturer, but could not find an attorney that would take her case. She and her husband, while grateful no one died, are despondent over the lopsided appearance of her bust line. They are currently accepting donations through the online account GoFundMe to replace the implant that was sucked out.

Mr. Thompson said, “People notice the difference – the left one is a DD and the right one is a B. I want people to look at my wife because they think she’s sexy not because they think she’s a freak!”