Birmingham, AL – A 34-year-old Alabama man is currently in custody after what police call a “gruesome display of beastiallity” which left a Chihuahua hospitalized with non-life-threatening injuries. Eyewitnesses say Paul Reynolds entered the Birmingham PetSmart location Sunday morning for their ‘Thanksgiving Weekend Adoption Event’ inquiring about the adoption process. Volunteers at the location say Reynolds seemed a bit odd, but didn’t think twice about it as the store filled with holiday shoppers.
“The store was packed with people looking to adopt a pet,” said volunteer Crystal McGee. “The next thing you know I see an empty cage! We alerted security and closed off the main entrance until we could recover the missing dog.” According to store employees, they could hear the puppy crying from the back of the store, which led them into the men’s restroom. When entering, the scene was so graphic, one of the employees passed out hitting his head on the ground.
“OMG,” cried Ralphie, the employee who fainted after finding Reynolds with the dog. “That Yard Boy was licking the little puppies Chapstick like an ice cream cone. And that perverts face was all scratched up and bloody from the Chihuahua trying to claw himself free from the madness. I’m going to have nightmares forever!” When asked why he kept referring to Reynolds as a ‘Yard Boy’, Ralphie clarified: “In the gay community, it’s what we call a gay man who likes to ‘get down’ in public. And my gay-dar says that man is gay.”
The four-month old Chihuahua named ‘Scoots’ was treated by veterinarians on-site for minor injuries. Luckily, the dog was not sodomized, but was treated for mild reddening and irritation of the genitals. Reynolds was arrested and booked on charges of beastiallity, animal cruelty, probation violation and resisting arrest. He was treated at a local hospital for extensive scratches on his forehead from Scoots and released to police. Reynolds was currently on probation for a 2014 incident where he was found molesting a goat at a petting zoo. He is being held on a $10,000 bond.