Clinical Study Will Pay You $3,000 Per Week To Smoke Marijuana

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News 8 – A National Research Center has been commissioned by the National Institute of Marijuana Research to conduct research on the effects of marijuana on the body. According to researchers, the facility, along with six other facilities across the nation, intend to put stoners under the microscope in an attempt to find out if marijuana can relieve stress while still being able to function a normal life.

“Do you smoke marijuana? Have you used in the past 30 days? If so, and you are 18 to 50 years old, you may qualify for a research study evaluating the effects of marijuana on the body.”

“This is one of the first, very promising studies, that will finally reveal the answer of the age old acquisition that stoners are ‘Just Lazy’,” said lead researcher Michael Gregory. “It’s an exciting new study that may push the legality of marijuana to all 50 states.” Each participant will be required to stay at the facility for six months, while doing various chores such as cleaning, reading, and watching TV, as they are evaluated by medical staff. Researchers are hoping to gather over 300 recruits into their facilities to begin this study.