News 8 – International scientists are in agreement about extending your life expectancy, and you won’t believe what they came up with! Scientists have declared the relevancy of “the fart” to the health of humans.
“Farts,” said Ralph Hingle, a member of the research team, “are fun. They give people the chance to relax and cut loose, or cut the cheese if you prefer that term. Scientifically speaking, tickling your sphincter calms your nervous system.” He went on to point out that many professionals, celebrities and TV personalities pass a lot of gas to relax themselves while they work.
“As a matter of fact, in many of Obama’s speeches, he is ripping a few of his own,” Hingle explained. “People think it’s a dishonest look on his face, but the truth is, he is just passing gas.” Scientists predict that every time you pass gas, you add an additional 85 seconds to your life. At the end of the day, for most people, that could add up to several years of additional time to spend with your loved ones.
“People say it’s rude,” explained Hingle. “But it’s your life, not theirs. If they want to die early, that’s their choice. But if you want to live long, fart long!” Hingle is encouraging people to take this scientific evidence seriously. He hopes people will spread the hashtag #FartForHealth in order to raise awareness.